


Where Butterlies Never Die

by YouMeandObsession (you_me_and_obsession)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fantasy, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Psychological Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:53:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24034597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/you_me_and_obsession/pseuds/YouMeandObsession
Summary: Where butterflies never die, Dean writes invisible love letters on Cas's back.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Where Butterlies Never Die

**Author's Note:**

> Allusions - however vague- to major character death and suicide. Please read the tags and warnings. Takes place somewhere in Season 5.  
> This is one of my decade old fics from 2010. The title is from Broken Iris's beautiful song Where Butterflies Never Die.

The lake water is clean and cool against their skin. Dean is tempted to strip off and disappear beneath the dark surface. They can do that later. They have all the time in the world.

Cas?

Yes, Dean?

You never told me there was actually this place.

Well, in case you've forgotten, I actually didn't have the time for that. I was chased by my superiors.

I know. Feels like a dream come true.

It did.

What did? Did what?

Your dream. Came true.

The sun shines gently in the slightly blue sky above them. It's a pale, very pale azure. And Dean usually thinks it's a reflection of the bottomless blue in Cas's eyes, from a huge board of opaque glass. The breeze brushes through them and Cas' lashes are so long Dean can feel their very slight movements against his neck. Or maybe it's because Cas has stayed so still and close in his arms.

_It happened too fast. All of his senses registered, surprisingly sharply and immediately, all of the details of the whole thing._

_The smell. Hitting right to his nostrils. Almost suffocating._

_The wetness. Of a minute pinhead of the liquid colliding with his eye._

_The light. Too blinding._

_The tug. On his arms._

_The screams. Not from him._

_The silence. In his throat. And of his own._

His back is cold against the door of the car. The rest of him is warm against Cas' skin. Dean always likes to rub the first phalanges of his fingers flatly against Cas' skin. Sometimes he would write invisible letters on Cas' bare back, while he lies on a rumpled blanket, or even on the grass on the side of some random abandoned road, and Cas would be able to read them all, and laugh at Dean while running his hand up and down Dean's thigh.

It's dark now outside.

Cas reaches a hand towards the window behind Dean.

What are you doing?

I want to see the sky.

The sky is a fancy adhesion of dark purple, black and gray, and Dean knows Cas loves it. It always fascinates him.

What's your deal with the sky, huh? You're so damn fond of it.

Not as much as of you.

Cas wipes the fog on the window with his long digits, and the sky appeared when Dean turned his head in an awkward angle.

Cas is both heavy and feather light on top of Dean. And Dean thinks only an angel can be that way.

He starts writing words on Cas' back.

He can feel Cas smile against his chest. Cas' lips are so chapped Dean can feel their rough pieces of skin on his. Or maybe it's because Cas has stayed so still and close in his arms.

_It happened too slowly. The sounds were so real. So were the coldness in Lucifer's voice._

_His hand on Cas' throat, from behind him._

_Dean, let me tell you an ancient story. It's so old even Cas doesn't know it. But it's so, so simple._

_Dean glared at him._

_One day, God asked me to choose between Him and Michael. I chose Michael, and He couldn't stand it. They kept saying God had Michael cast me down to the pit, but the truth is, He did it himself._

_Now Dean, I'm asking you to choose. Who would you pick?_

_He couldn't._

_He couldn't abandon either of them._

_Not Sam._

_Not Cas._

I love you too Cas.

_I'm sorry. I love you._

_The angel's sword appeared from under his sleeve._

_It thrust through their chests._

_A pinhead of blood collided with Dean's eye._

I know Dean.

I am so sorry for your loss, Mr. Winchester.

Do we have any photo of Cas, Bobby?

Why?

Dean would want it with him.

What happened?

Sam?

Sam.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's some explanation if you didn't get it after the first (or second or third) read :  
> Lucifer knew Dean and Cas were in love, so he decided to mess with them and made Dean choose between Sam not being his vessel and Cas being alive. While Dean couldn't choose between them, Cas killed Lucifer and himself with the sword (since Lucifer was taking hold of him from behind). Dean started living in his imaginary reality after Cas' death, most likely under psychiatric care in a hospital, and in the end he killed himself.


End file.
